your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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