Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
