are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
