Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
