is wine microwaveable?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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