im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
