Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
