Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize