It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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