I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
