i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
