great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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