yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
