i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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