woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
