Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
