her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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