**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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