his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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