I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
