He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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