Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
