i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
