I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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