u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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