Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sarcasm needs its own font
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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