someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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