Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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