Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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