We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
