youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
