he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
