sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
