Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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