I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
