why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
