I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this will be a night to untag.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
