did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
