i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i love accidental penises.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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