We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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