Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
