Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
