she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
