Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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