and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
