So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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