Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Bring me that man meat
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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