she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
