found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
