Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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