hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
