Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
