Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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