I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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