I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need moral support for this bender
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
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