yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"