oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Soap is not a condiment
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.