Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants