ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?