I just made out with a guy for $7.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.